8/27/2006
noone but me from URL @ 2:06 PM
i cant wait for tuesday.
cos then i'll slack till friday.
and i mean intense slack.
and on saturday-sunday i'll do my best for ssc.
and from the following monday, i'll mug.
yes, mug full speed ahead.
and i will STOP sleeping.
ncc, fourth core value- discipline.
anyhow;
so many things are happening.
and i only can say that things are happening too fast for us to hold on.
smth like, you're on the monkey bars(bar1). and before you can grasp onto the next bar(bar2), you lose hold of the previous bar(bar1).
and when you startback at the same bar1 wanting to try to reach out to the same bar 2, you'll realise that the bar2 has moved on, and bar 3 seems to be very far ahead.
and then you'll feel like giving up, but you know you cant, so you'll just push on.
and whilst moving on, the feeling of confusion persists cos you've skipped bar2.
but you know you cant do anyth abt it, so you just continue to move on;
keep up with the world.
and, haha. the confusion just moves on with you too.
lost? yes, precisely.
and it keeps happening, overandover again.
even if i put what i feel to words, you probably wouldn't understand me
so i woulnt bother.
i cant wait for my mom to get back.
cos there's no place like home.
but then again, i dont really want her to.
cos then,
hmm, lets leave it his way.
-something worse pursues.
oh.
for those of you who dont know,
i've been rather obsessed about dying recently.
and sadistic stuff, ha ha.
(its not cause for counselling, no)
but then i had a dream.
we were three, me muu and natalie.
we were standing somewhere.
in front of us, there was a reservoir.
and then we heard a sound; so we looked up in front.
we saw three mini black hurricanes/ tornados. (mini cos they were far away i think)
and we also saw buildings flying around in the dist.
so i looked at muu and natalie.
we were all silent.
they were just looking on, faces in horror.
i hurriedly did the sign of the cross and grabbed their sleeves.
(we were in sch u) and closed my eyes tight.
and then,
i felt a great push against my body,
something like what i'd thought it feel like if a great waterbody pushed against me.
but in my sleep, a jerk.
and i woke up.
and after very, very long this is the first dream that i remembered.
and yesterday when speeding to the hospital following the ambulance, something flashed through my mind.
"we were speeding in the van.(thats real) and suddenly from infront a big lorry( like a cement mixer) came speeding infront of us, it being in the wrong lane.
we collided.
and i remeber cracked glass and my head bloody."
i put on the seatbelt after that.
the sight was so vivid that i started sweating, even in the air condition.
it scared me.
and in the hospital my cousin's hub started fitting again.
my cousin started to cry,
and i thought abt death again; just now, in a whole new viewpt.
i'm confused cos i think God's telling me to stop thinking about death cos everyth i envision rgd death never comes true.
but then again, why is it that in everth i think abt, im the one dying; like as though im gna die soon.
or maybe, since i dont actually know that i died in the end(in my dreams/sights), maybe he's trying to say that although i will go through great obstacles, i wont die.
i'll live through it all.
that's a nice thought.
anyway,
i think there's a reason to it.
tell me your perspective.
really, all of you who just happened to click by:
leave a tag, thanks.
but if you dont,
i can live without knowing.
have a nice day.
lead a nice life.
(:
and im not being sarcastic here.
noone but me from URL @ 1:53 PM
the weekend and past week has been rather eventful, and uneventful respectively.
as usual the week went past so fast i was left in a blur.
and the weekend seemed to be extra long and slow moving.
the week:
i've been living with my aunt cos my mom's overseas( AND she nvr fails to call me to tell me the great time she's been having)
and at my aunt's, its like some voodoo-ed curse or sth, cos i do nth but sleep.
sleepsleepsleepsleep. wthh.
like really sleep.
on the floor, on the table, on the sofa but guess what,
the whole week -nvr on the bed.
(i always fell aslp in the midst of doing work)
yeah. so wth.
the weekend:
and during the weekend i attended a onesided family chalet.
we partied on fri-sat and slept at 7am.
and on sat, HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATALIE! (: we woke up at abt 12 and played games, went to the beach and had our bbq.
aaand. my cousin's husband had fits at ard 2am so we all rushed to the hosp.
and so im at home now.
i hope he'll get better.
and now. im waiting to get the parade proposal done, then write sth and then study for macbeth; for which im gna die cos its until A4S2 and i havent started.
and so now, i'll wait.
im gna blog another entry on top, cos i think this post is disgusting. ha ha.
8/10/2006
noone but me from URL @ 12:15 AM
i promised adlin i'd say this,
ADLINF FARTED DURING OUR MOMENTOUS HENTAK WITH THE SPECIALISTS 06'.
the lil farty baby.
it seemed like i had a lot to blog about just moments ago;
i seriously did.
anyway, i think its kinda scary that i forget things damn fast.
or maybe just that im able to shut things out so fast.
my tuition teacher said that it isnt good cos it'll aggrevate my to-be alzheimers.
she said i should train my mind from now itself to rmbr things.
but, ouch.
anyway i should be sleeping soon. ooh;
YAY! since i've gotten the thing from suria i can sleep veryvery soon!
anyway, LOOK AT THE TIME!
Happy Birthday Singapore
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUPINI! (:
and happy birthday to sgt dhilshad too! :)
on the 11/8,
happy birthday AARON! (: and on the 12/8,
happy birthday encik huiting! (:
i hope all of you have a nice birthday,
and everyone else leading normal days have a nice day!
goodbye; for now.
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